Running from Reality

I'm finally back in blogging, not that I was actually active. Haha.
So it's a new year (actually it has been for awhile now) , I've now learned how much work there really is to do in my job. I'm happy I can skip classes. Haha.
The school created some idiotic points system. 20% of our marks in exams depends on our subject teachers. They will grade our attitude in class and our homework. This is just plain bad news, I hate doing my Chinese homework. Sigh~

Nowadays, I just feel so out of it. I don't have the "semangat" I had during the holidays to study. All I feel is that I want to just be myself without any worries. It's such a pain putting on a mask in front of everybody. I still have no idea what I want to do for the future. I have no proper ambition. I wonder how some people can just decide what they want to be just like that. I find myself disappointed as I look at what I have been doing throughout my life, I have accomplished little and wish for more.

I felt betrayed when I found some stuff out. I know they did it for the better but I wish they took the hard way instead of hiding. I wonder if I should tell them straight out that I know. It will hurt many but it might solve the problem. I'm so lost in this.

I read a poem online which I really find quite good, it goes like this:

Some people might say life sucks
or life is full of shit
While other people say life is beautiful
or life is full of surprises
I must say, I agree with all those
Life is whatever you think of it..and everything you think of it
Life is what you make it of it and what you say of it.

Life is about sadness
Life is about happiness
Life is about pain
Life is miserable
Life is about loss
Life is about smiling
Life is about crying
Life is about love
Life is about laughter
Life is about learning from your mistakes
Life is horrible
Life is dumb
Life is awesome
Life is depression
Life is tears
Life is sorrow
Life is anxiety
Life is Bullshit
Life stinks
Life sucks
I could go on and on and tell you all about life
But I'm not here to sort this out for you
cuz..
Life is all about you and how you treat it
You criticizes it...well, you're actually criticizing yourself
You like it, you hate it..well, its all up to you
Life is you so be careful how you describe it